Twice's the charm
by DiggerBob
Summary: (Disclaimer I do not own KonoSuba)After meeting upon a mysterious person,Kazuma and his friend's Megumin,Darkness and Aqua's lives change. As they continue their lives with this person more and more changes keep happening. Will those changes be for the better or for worse? Only God knows.
1. Just a regular day

Satou Kazuma and his friends Aqua,Megumin and Darkness just defeated one of Demon King's leaders and were enjoying a nice meal in the Adventurer guild in the small city of Axel they were sitting in front of a table full of empty plates and cups.

"Aaaaaaaaah,I'm full"groaned Kazuma,he is a sixteen years old young man of average height and has short and slightly messy chestnut-brown hair and green eyes.

He wears a gold-trimmed green mantle, white shirt, pants and leather boots.

"Maybe we ate a little too much"groaned back Megumin who is a fourteen year old girl with shoulder-lenght dark brown hair and crimson coloured eyes,she wears a classical

witch attire such as a black cloak with gold border, choker, witch's hat, fingerless gloves, and carries a black staff.

Munch,munch"Order"munch,munch"More"barely spoke Darkness as she cleaned out another is a tall,beautiful eighteen year old,has light blue eyes and straight,

long blonde hair,kept in a ponytail tied with a braid and red hair clips secured on both sides of her bangs. She is usually seen clad in armor.

"Hey,big mouth,with that tempo we are going to spend all of our money in a week"complained Kazuma.

"Oooohhh,yeaaaa,Kaaaazumaaaa,More verbal abuse!"pleaded Darkness as her cheeks began to blush.

"I think you are overreacting a little,I's not like I called you "bitch" or anything"exclaimed Kazuma as he rolled his if it was a command,Darkness immediately

began rolling on the table breaking the plates and cups.

"I think she's drunk."said Kazuma while turning his head to Megumin.

"Yup,but at least she's doing something,not like Aqua over there who has been staring at the ceiling for like more than fifteen minutes with that funny look on her face"

"I guess...,Megumin,stop Darkness from breaking any more plates and look at this!"ordered now the young man Kazuma was preparing a perverted act for the beautiful

goddess Aqua who was clearly not in the right has blue waist-long hair that is partially tied into a loop with a water-molecule (H₂O) shaped clothes

carry a blue colour scheme, with her ordinary attire consisting of a vest, detached sleeves, thigh-high boots, a miniskirt and a transparent underskirt.

"And so it begins..."While Kazuma was announcing this,Megumin and Darkness were carefully watching in amazement when Kazuma shouted with all his might while putting his hands up as he was trying to grasp something.

"Double Steal!Now I can steal panties and bra at the same time."As Darkness was starting to go crazy again...Nothing happened.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAT?yelled Kazuma,"It didn't work?"

"She probably doesn't wear panties"hypothesised Megumin

"Yea that makes sense,I've always wandered if she was wearing any panties,and not wearing bra,come on and she called me a pervert!"pondered just from the mere excitement alone Darkness fell unconscious.

"Promise me to not say a word to Aqua about what just happened or else she will kill me"

"I promise to do as you say for the name of the Crimson Demon species,"replied Megumin

"I'm sorry but that sentence was a little weirder than usual."addressed Kazuma

"Are you doubting my genius then I shall not promise!"declared confidentially Megumin.

"Fine,fine!sighed Kazuma as he grabbed Aqua by the shoulders and shook her...

"EARTH TO AQUA!"yelled Kazuma as he shook even harder.

"Whut...whut?"murmered Aqua as she was returning to the real world"What were you doing while I was 'drunk' Kazuma"cried Aqua as she slapped him in the face so hard that

he couldn't move for a few minutes.

"Huh,she beat me up anyway"exhaled Kazuma

"What did he do?MEGUMIN?cried Aqua as she was looking more like a demon than a goddess.

"He tried to steal your panties...and bra."Megumin reported waving hands symbolising "Don't hurt me please!"

Aqua then began glowing red from anger but then she started crying and throwing weak punches at Kazuma.

"Whaaaaaaah"cried Aqua"And I thought I lost my virginity for a second!"

"Hmmmmmm,you know I'm not that bad and,wait,you are a thousands of years old goddess and you are still a virgin!"chuckled Kazuma.

"Staying in a room waiting to send dead adventurers away to this world isn't the best sociable activity."defended herself Aqua as she was blushing.

Kazuma just started laughing and laughing until he died from just sighed

"I think he's overusing his limitless amount of death-free cards."

"Should I even resurrect him?"wandered Aqua

"Just do it"insisted Megumin.

"Fine1"whined Aqua.

Meanwhile in the afterlife...

"Oh,I died again!"lamented Kazuma.A girl stood in front of name is Eris and she is a goddess with purple eyes and long silvery wears a loose,white hagoromo.

"It seems you had an accident,again"said Eris in a calm and caring Kazuma the afterlife seemed boring and plain as it consisted of a dark blue room that looked like it had infinite length and width,yet the shining presence of Eris made him want to come back again and to break the silence Eris asked

"What happened?"Kazuma smiled

"We just wanted to celebrate after the defeat of Hans,another one of the Devil King's minions,when we just started to joke around.I just happened to find the joke really funny and die."

"Well,that's a weird way to die I suppose,but at least you died happy"pointed out Eris as to try to make the best out of the situation.

"Can I ask you something?requested Kazuma innocently.

"Sure!"encouraged asked with a terrifying tone in his voice yet with an unfazed look on his face.

"Are you a virgin?"That took Eris by tried to answer honestly.

"Um,I am..."Just as she was about to finish her sentence,Aqua's voice yelled

"Kazuma,come back already!"

"Woman,why do you take every good moment in my life?"yelled back Kazuma.

"Just listen to her!"commanded Megumin

"It looks like you are about to be brought back,best of luck,adventurer!"smiled Eris relieved as Kazuma was disappearing.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!"screamed Kazuma at the top of his then woke up seeing the faces of Megumin,Aqua and Darkness in front of him.

"Aaaaaah,good,Darkness you woke up too."yawned Kazuma as he was about to go to sleep.

"Wait a second,I haven't finished with you!"threatened Aqua

"You just resurrected me so you can kill me,you are dumber than I thought,well I'm not going down without a fight"taunted Aqua began to dash forward while throwing punches,Kazuma moved his hands down in a tickling position he started to tickle Aqua

"Stoooooop!"Aqua screeched.

"Kazuma,tickle me too!"pleaded Darkness.

"You are so easy!"laughed Kazuma.

In the midst of it all a mysterious person was watching them...

 **ROLL CREDITS**

 **End chapter 0**


	2. God's lair

After Kazuma and the others calmed down they sat back in their places and wandered what to do now.

"I'm bored,let's go back to the mansion.."insisted Kazuma.

"Kazuma I think that we are being watched."opined Megumin.

"Yea that guy is staring at us!"agreed Aqua as she pointed towards a boy of average height with chocolate brown hair and eyes. He wore a dark purple top hat,dark blue winter cape,purple shirt,dark pink pants,dark purple shoes and white gloves.

"He probably works for the Demon King and he's staring at our beautiful breasts"suggested Darkness as she was starting to touch herself.

"Either way,we should investigate! Let's start with interrogating him." whispered Kazuma to the others. They just nodded as they tried approaching him.

 **Ethan's POV**

" _Huh,they seem to be heading towards me_."I thought to myself.

" _It took them way longer to notice you than I thought,after all,you've been watching them for a week now_ "said ? ? ?

" _Who wouldn't?Watching them is just like a reality TV show that's actually good!"_ I defended myself.

" _What are you going to do now_?"

" _Go with the flow."_ I replied.

" _You sure try to act cool!_? ? ? mocked me. They stopped in front of me and Kazuma asked confidentially.

"Who are you and what's your purpose?

"My name is Ethan,I'm a state alchemist. I know that you are wondering if I've been watching you and yes it's true. You can stop acting so serious Kazuma."Kazuma simply sighed of relief.

"Why were you watching us?"

" _What do I say to that_?"

"I heard that you were planning on defeating the Demon King so I wondered if you want my help?"

"Sorry but we don't need your help."declined Kazuma.

"What even is an alchemist?demanded to know Aqua.

"If you want to know,just introduse yourself and I'll explain."

"I'm the one and only goddess Aqua who has descended from the heavens to stop the evil deeds of the Demon King!"claimed Aqua

"Aqua,you are getting ahead of yourself!claimed Kazuma as he put his hand on her mouth.

"My name is Megumin and the other two are Kazuma and Darkness."

"Nice to meet you!"said Darkness with a smile.

" _Don't you already know their names_?"asked ? ? ?.

" _Let me have fun once in a while_!I pled

"Show me your Adventurer card,Pleeease!"Aqua practically begged me.

"Why do you want to see his card so much?"wandered Kazuma.

"Because the alchemist class shouldn't exist,he is the first of his kind."

"Fine,if that makes you happy."I groaned annoyed.

Name:Ethan Class:Alchemist

Intelligence:very high

Strength:average

Endurance:average

Speed:high

Luck:average

Skills:? ? ?

"Your writing is ugly!"Megumin teased me.

"I'm not perfect,okay!"I whined.I think I cried inside.

" _What a baby_!"

" _I can hear you_!"

"Don't you have any skills?"asked Kazuma.

"I do have the so called "skills",I only wrote my class and name on the card."

"Then explain them to us"joined Darkness.

"Rather than explaining them I'll show them."

After I said that I made them follow me outside of the Adventurer guild like I was their mother duck and they were my little ducklings. The city of Axel was busy as always. We walked until we stopped in a green valley full of Giant Toads.

"Nooooooo!"screamed Megumin and Aqua as they jumped down in a foetal position,crying and shivering.

"Geez,they must have suffered quite the trauma!"I noted.

"You have no idea" Kazuma sighed as he rolled his eyes. In contrast to Aqua and Megumin,Darkness kneeled straight in front of one while blushing.

"Oh,please,make me all slimy,all yeah!"

" _I don't know how to feel about this._ "

" _Just sit back and enjoy_!"said ? ? ?As she was being swallowed by the Giant Toad I smiled.

" _You are totally a bad influence on me_."I scolded ? ? ?

"Don't feel bad,she likes it and we can always save her!"

"You are surprisingly calm and cheerful Kazuma."I wandered

"After living with them for so long you get used to it and start enjoying it."

I went near the Giant Toad and clapped my hands. An electric current rose from my hands.I touched the Giant Toad and it started to disintegrate until the only thing left was Darkness,covered in slime touching herself.I proceeded by clapping my hands once more and touched the ground. Rock spikes rose up from the ground,penetrating most of the Giant Toads. Only few were left and I one by one burned them by snapping my finger creating a large burst of flames. When there was only one left I decided to show the true potential of my power so I snapped my fingers harder to create a miniature explosion and obliterate it.I turned to see Aqua,Kazuma,Megumin and even Darkness with jaws open hitting the ground from disbelief.

"This are low level monsters of course they will go down easily!"I said trying to make an excuse so they would stop looking at me like that. The silence continued for a while until Kazuma asked.

"Do you want to defeat the Demon King with us?"

"I'll consider it!"

"Please,please,please!"Aqua literally couldn't stop shaking me and begging me.

"Fine!That was my goal in the first place."

"Great,so was this some kind of magic,you look like a magician so..."Aqua asked. I couldn't help it.I burst out laughing.

"This...Magic...Alchemy...!"It took me fifteen minutes to calm down.

"I wish! ... Well kinda? ... I guess. But there is a huge critical difference. With magic you can create something from nothing while with alchemy you change something into something else. In the world of alchemy the most important rule is the law of equivalent exchange!"

"How does it work?"asked Kazuma.

"You use a drawn circle to make a specific action occur. That's why I have circles drawn on my gloves,see!"I explained and pointed at my majestic gloves.

"Cool!"exclaimed Megumin with a sparkle in her eyes.

"Why were you clapping your hands and snapping your fingers?asked Aqua.

"Well,see the circles on my gloves are specifically made to light up fire.I can actually perform alchemy without circles and activate it by clapping and touching something. The circles on my gloves are just for convenience as to not clap my hands everytime I want to make fire and just snap my fingers."I groaned.

"Satisfied?"

"How did you get alchemy?Was it a gift from Eris?"asked Kazuma

"Who's Eris?"

"I think I fell into a trap."

 ***FLASHBACK***

 _I woke up in a strange white room,or was it a room?There didn't seem to be any length,width or height. Last thing I remember was that I made a circle.I stood up. Behind me was a big door full of alchemic symbols.I began to notice something in the distance. A humanoid figure was sitting on the floor. It didn't have any texture or details. The only way I was able to notice it was because it had an abnormally huge grin on his face with huge pearl-like teeth and it emitted a thin dark aura surrounding it. It took me awhile to gather confidence to speak with it and the moment I tried I heard a voice coming from the figure. Suprisingly a calm and playful voice spoke:_

"Nice to meet you. My name is Truth. It's been a surprisingly long time since someone last tried to resurrect a fellow human being,how long was it?Aha,around two-hundred years. Time flies so fast when you have all eternity."

 _I have so many questions but let's start with this._

"Are you GOD,Truth?

"Of course,the real deal,you made this circle to bring someone back,who's the lucky winner?

"No one!"

"Then why did you make this know you can loose your limbs,your sight or even your whole body?"

"That wasn't exactly what happened but... anyway... I wanted to meet you,Truth,and learn all the secrets in Alchemy,make me your disciple!I'm sorry,but the only way to get here is through a human transmutation circle."I said as I bowed down before him.

"Fool,fool,fool,fool,fool!"

 _I felt petrified. He is right,I'm really a fool. It's too late now,plus,hunting knowledge does require sacrifices so I should have been ready for this._

"You hunt knowledge,yet,you forgot the most important rule,the law of Equivalent exchange. What do I get for teaching you anything?"

"I'll owe you something."I suggested.

"Do you think I,the creator of everything,want something from you,fool?"

"I guess but even if there is a small percentage,a true seeker of truth would take it. An important catchphrase I like to say when I'm feeling cornered is "Risk it for the Biscuit!".

"That's for someone who seeks suicide not truth. Anyway,I like your style and seeing as I can't change your mind there is something that I want you to do and if you do it I'll teach you everything that forms Alchemy including it's secrets."

"Really?"

"I live I seem to be bored lately because I know everything that happens in this universe.."

"Where are you getting with this?"

"I'm bored and I want and exciting adventure. So I'll send you to a different universe where you have to defeat the Demon King and if you do,I'll fulfil your wish."

"Huh?"

"I don't know what happens in other universes and I'll finally escape boredom.I'll help you when you can and also,you got a few extra skills from coming here,use them wisely. Now,go through that door and enter a new adventure."

"How will you help me? Will I have God powers?"I shrieked a little.

"No,no,no!I'll help you out emotionally by being your sidekick."

"Huh?"He then pushed me through the new opened door. As I was falling I was in deep thought.

 _I didn't get any god powers but I didn't lose any limbs so I say operation "Escape Judgement Day" was а complete success._

" _Hello,partner,I forgot to ask you your name?"_

" _Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"I screamed as I was finally arriving in the new world._

" _God bless this wonderful world!"laughed Truth._

 ***FLASHBACK*END***

"Are you satisfied,now?"I groaned irritated.

"Not really but we think we had enough for today."

"Thank goodness!Anyway I don't have a place to stay so..."

"You can stay with us!"proposed Darkness.

"Sure!"agreed Kazuma

"I want to know more about this alchemy!"muttered Megumin as she was facing the other direction.

The sun was setting and we decided to go home. I followed them to their mansion.

" _I think I finally found my place in this world,Truth_ "I thought as I was watching another one of Kazuma's and Aqua's fights.

" _It's getting_ _ **very**_ _interesting indeed._ "giggled Truth.

 **ROLL CREDITS**

 **END OF CHAPTER 1**

 _Author's notes:_

 _Sorry if the last chapter was this is my first fanfiction I had some ,hope you enjoy.I wasn't really sure if this should be a crossover so share your opinion in the comments.(Disclaimer:I do not own Konosuba nor Fullmetal Alchemist)_


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